Chapter 4: Getting Lost: A Psychological Perspective
In this chapter I provide an integrative perspective on reasons why we disconnect from our Real Self and therefore lose touch with our most significant source of knowledge and actualizing potentials. Common causes of losing touch with our Real Self include traumatic experiences in childhood, learned compensatory patterns, and the frenetic nature of our adult lives.
More specifically, I discuss how the vast majority of psychological problems develop in relational contexts, with families being our first and primary learning environment. Family experiences set the stage for the ways we attempt to overcome and master conflicts in our lives as well as the predictable and patterned ways that we get lost in our adult lives. Typical experiences leading to disconnection from our Real Self include: role modeling, invalidation, rigid roles, structural family difficulties, differentiation difficulties, guilt, trauma, de-selfing, and compensatory strategies.
More specifically, I discuss how the vast majority of psychological problems develop in relational contexts, with families being our first and primary learning environment. Family experiences set the stage for the ways we attempt to overcome and master conflicts in our lives as well as the predictable and patterned ways that we get lost in our adult lives. Typical experiences leading to disconnection from our Real Self include: role modeling, invalidation, rigid roles, structural family difficulties, differentiation difficulties, guilt, trauma, de-selfing, and compensatory strategies.
